WHEN goal 토토사이트 HAVE A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE
This article first appeared in Negotiation newsletter, published by the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School(www.pon.harvard.edu)
Whether at work or at home, we've all had negotiations fall apart due to escalating frustration, threats and a general failure to communicate productively. Irritation lingers, souring further exchanges until the conflict reaches a head.
In most cases, it doesn't have to be this way. Before assuming that goal 토토사이트 and goal 토토사이트r counterpart are doomed to mutual distrust and dislike, try the following four strategies for coming together.
Strategy No. 1: Reclaim credibility.
When someone challenges goal 토토사이트r competence and credibility, the natural response is to go on the defensive, or lash out, or both. It's difficult to temper goal 토토사이트r emotions when the other side devalues goal 토토사이트r efforts and opinions. But if goal 토토사이트 rise to the bait, goal 토토사이트'll be distracted from the important work of advocating for goal 토토사이트r interests and concerns, write Simmons School of Management professor Deborah Kolb and Judith Williams in their book "Everyday Negotiation: Navigating the Hidden Agendas in Bargaining" (Jossey-Bass, 2003).
In place of defensive moves and counterattacks, Kolb and Williams identify five "turns" goal 토토사이트 might use to better effect:
-- Interruption. Calling for a time-out can cool tempers and allow everyone to reflect on the situation.
-- Naming. Neutralize the other party's move by calling it as goal 토토사이트 see it. If a subordinate blames others for his subpar results during a performance review, goal 토토사이트 might respond by saying, "Criticizing goal 토토사이트r colleagues isn't the best way to build goal 토토사이트r case."
-- Questioning. To convey that a move seems unwarranted, respond with a question. For example, goal 토토사이트 might say to someone who presents a "take it or leave it" offer, "Why would goal 토토사이트 threaten to walk away when we've still got so many issues to explore?"
-- Correcting. goal 토토사이트 may need to reject the other party's framing of the situation outright. If someone accuses goal 토토사이트 of belittling his perspective, respond by saying, "On the contrary, I respect goal 토토사이트r opinion and would like to hear more about it."
-- Diverting. goal 토토사이트 can attempt to divert a move by shifting the focus to the problem at hand. "I think we're getting distracted by personality issues," goal 토토사이트 might say when tempers flare. "Let's try to get back on track."
Strategy No. 2: Explore the other side's perspective.
When someone approaches goal 토토사이트 with hostility, exploring his perspective may be the last thing goal 토토사이트 want to do. Yet taking the time to understand the source of someone's frustration is typically the best way to find common ground, according to Adam D. Galinsky of Northwestern University, William W. Maddux of the INSEAD business school in France, and Gillian Ku of London Business School.
In particular, Galinsky and his colleagues advise goal 토토사이트 to consider three basic questions before and during a negotiation:
-- "What are her underlying interests, motivations and needs?" Examining the motives behind someone's behavior helps goal 토토사이트 identify creative solutions to shared dilemmas.
-- "How can she meet her needs elsewhere?" Might goal 토토사이트r fellow negotiator be able to find satisfaction from someone else? If so, goal 토토사이트 may need to improve goal 토토사이트r offer. If not, goal 토토사이트've identified an untapped source of bargaining power.
-- "Why is she behaving this way?" We often make the mistake of attributing others' behavior to sinister causes. When goal 토토사이트 reflect on the full range of someone's possible motives, goal 토토사이트 may realize her intentions are, in fact, benevolent.
Strategy No. 3: Test goal 토토사이트r theory.
At the table, goal 토토사이트 can explore and modify goal 토토사이트r theories about the other party by listening actively. As Harvard Law School professor Robert C. Bordone observes in "Listen Up! goal 토토사이트r Talks May Depend on It" ("Negotiation," May 2007), active listening requires three critical skills:
-- Paraphrasing. Restate what goal 토토사이트 heard goal 토토사이트r counterpart say as accurately as goal 토토사이트 can, resisting the urge to express goal 토토사이트r own opinions. Doing so gives the other party a chance to correct his message and ensures that goal 토토사이트 fully understand his point of view.
-- Inquiry. Ask open-ended questions that require the other side to elaborate on his opinions and ideas. This is especially important when someone's statements seem illogical or inconsistent with his behavior.
-- Acknowledgment. Listen for the emotions that underlie goal 토토사이트r counterpart's message and reflect back what he says. Here, the goal is to acknowledge what someone is not saying, whether out of fear, embarrassment or anger.
In his research, Maurice Schweitzer of the University of Pennsylvania has found that a sincere apology accompanied by a promise to do better in the future can be effective in rebuilding trust between negotiators.
Strategy No. 4: Advocate for goal 토토사이트r own interests.
Of course, the goal of negotiation is not simply to get along with others but to reach an outcome that benefits everyone involved. Once goal 토토사이트 better understand goal 토토사이트r counterpart's perspective, goal 토토사이트'll find new opportunities to explore interests and advocate for goal 토토사이트r own needs. goal 토토사이트 can do this by resisting the temptation to escalate conflict and instead work on exploring the other side's perspective and advocating for goal 토토사이트r own needs.
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